chapter 2.6: nothing to bring to the table

There is bumper sticker that says "On Call : God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the call."

I have never felt qualified. Never. In fact, I have always felt that I do not belong to that place. The level of intellect there is beyond me. The "scholars-to-be" scare me. The intensity of the "holier than thou" annoys me. Some think they are always right. Some think they have what it takes. And most do not care. They say they care. They say they are ministers of the gospel and yet they do not really care a hair's breadth for others in the field. Only those who are convenient and of the same bird cage.

I have no idea till today why I was chosen. The privilege is an honor but the comprehension of it baffles me. I honestly do not have a lot of smarts in me. It has never been good enough to bring to the table. I have no experience. I have no qualifications. I am below the required level of substance. Yet, here I am.

What is Your plan in all this? Where do I fit in eventually? There's so much that needs to be done in this life while I'm still in here.

I have nothing to bring to Your table. You said You will see me through. Please. I really need it. My own strength fails me. You said Your hand is upon me and all I have to do is allow You to place me wherever You desire. I find that I do not fit.

Is this a cycle that I am going through again? Please help me. I look at my plate, I find nothing worthy to bring to Your table. I look at my efforts, I find it unworthy. I look at myself, I see a misfit.

Please show me what I can bring to Your table.